Selfishness has a really bad reputation. Understandably so; there are many instances where people are hurt because of people’s selfishness. However, the term can also be used against oneself to be forced to endure toxic circumstances.
My sister is going through a bit of a rough patch with her now-ex landlord. The lease turned out to be illegal, and she was forced to find a new place within a week. She panicked and searched, but I assured her that God would take care of it (my family is religious, so they won’t feel weird about my saying that). I sent out peace, imagined her being happy in her new place and that week she got an awesome new place!
Now, unfinished drama ensued, and yesterday she forwarded us some angry emails between her and the ex-landlord. I found the situation very frustrating on her behalf. I sent her a voice note apologizing for what she had to go through, but she should commit it to God and move forward, be happy in her new place. I then sent her another voice note about a new album I thought she should get because she’d love it. Her response: “I want to sue her”. More screenshots, more angry messages between them. She then sends messages about how terrible her living conditions were and how she shouldn’t have had to endure that, and…
I stopped replying.
I’d done what I could, but this was now becoming something that was draining my energy. She didn’t want positivity; she wanted me to join her where she was vibrationally. I felt the energy being sucked out of me, and I was in waaay too good of a mood last night to let anything bring me down. So I turned off my data, put on my electric blanket and got ready to hop into bed.
A little voice inside was telling me I should agree with her and join in on the anger, that I was being selfish, but the thought of it was so unpleasant and I knew that it was not something I had to do. In this case, selfishness was the best thing I had. I sat up in bed, imagined everything being settled for her, sent her peace and clarity, and imagined a happy ending to her story. That, I believe, was the best thing I could have done. I knew she was venting to other people, and maybe they would join, but I was not prepared to compromise my amazing vibration for someone who did not want to escape their own negativity.
How often do we put our own happiness aside for the sake of others? How often do we encourage a downward spiral into negativity and sadness?
Once you become aware of the Universal Laws, you start noticing these things more and more. And you realize that often, people don’t want encouragement or assurance- they want to complain. Continuously. Venting is healthy, but after that’s done, it’s time to focus on the solution. Time to let the Universe take care of everything. Abraham Hicks said somewhere that if a conversation is negative, if it’s making you feel badly, change the subject or leave! You’re not actually helping them by indulging their complaints, by affirming their negative circumstances. Rather leave and imagine happiness on their behalf. That is what truly supporting the person looks like.
Have you experienced something like this? Share your thoughts with me! 🙂