So sorry for my apparent silence- I’ve been reading up on a lot of things and recharging. I went through some lows, but I am back in action! YES!
I have some fabulous news, which I shall share in the next post, but I just wanted to share a little something from this weekend. In the effort to show myself more and more love, there are a few things I do for myself. I take myself out on cake-dates, I take breaks from work to listen to a song I love with my full attention, I compliment myself when I’m having good ass-day…typical things. However, there’s one area I need to work on:
Accepting other people’s acts of kindness.
My best friend is such a lovely person, and I am aware of the fact that I do go out of my way for her quite often, but it makes me feel good. She’s grateful and appreciative, and I’m usually the one offering her lifts and things anyway. Yesterday, she went to the mall before coming over to my place, and it took everything in me to ask her to buy me a croissant. I was really craving one, and I knew which bakery had my favourites. She said yes, but that bakery didn’t have the plain croissants I wanted. She offered to go back to the other store she’d just left to get one for me, and I denied it. “It’s so much effort” I thought. “She’d have to walk all the way back.” But then I thought to myself: I’d had my heart set on having a croissant, and she was offering! Why am I so okay with going out of my way for her but refusing the reciprocation thereof? I changed my mind and asked kindly if she would please get me the croissant from the other store, and she was glad to!
I felt so apologetic and guilty, but I had to tell myself that hey- I deserve a freaking croissant! I was having a lazy day in bed, my friend was near a store, it made total sense, and how many times had I surprised her with cake she didn’t even ask for just because I love her so much!?
It made me realise that I am often quick to refuse people’s offers to do for me what I’m always willing to do for them. Part of loving oneself is allowing oneself to be treated well, allowing oneself to be spoiled once in a while. Loving myself has forced me to evaluate how often I don’t feel deserving of other people’s sacrifices. Yes, I don’t take advantage of people, but it doesn’t mean I can’t accept their kindness. I am a lovely person, I know this, and I deserve to be treated as such.
It is wonderful to show random acts of kindness- there really is no better feeling (for me, at least.) But just remember:
You deserve to have the crispiest, butteriest croissants in life- allow people to make a detour to get you one once in a while.
Hope you all have a lovely week full of buttery croissants.