Part 1: Make-Up or Nah?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how things came to be: how society became the way it was, how things changed over the years and how things could be if people thought differently. So, I’ve decided to start a series about this, mostly from the perspective of being a woman.

Last week, I was invited to watch a movie with a guy I’m kind of “vibing” with. He was in my class, but we only met in the latter part of the year. He thinks I’m much funnier than I think I am, and he’s a cool, good-looking guy. I was feeling pretty confident about what he thought of me, from choosing deliberate thoughts, and so it’s been a much more relaxed ‘fling’. Before our movie date (sort of, a friend of his was joining us), I had a friend of mine over. I told this friend that I’d need to start getting ready about an hour before I was meant to meet the Guy. The friend left, and I thought: I have 45 minutes to get ready. Why 45 minutes? What am I going to do for 45 minutes? Is he taking 45 minutes to get ready?

The mall is a 45-second walk from my place, honestly, so I didn’t need to factor in travel time. I thought about him, and what he would do to “get ready.” Needless to say, makeup did not fall on his list- not in my eyes, at least.

Why did I have to do it? Why was I so conditioned to believe that I needed to enhance my face using external products in order to be desirable to him, when he would just put on a good shirt? So I did just that- I put on a good shirt. I put on an AWESOME top, in fact, that was a little short, and some medium-rise jeans that I know accentuated my curves. I felt alright. I then put on my boots- the ones I always wear when I’m “dressing up”. Boom, immediate boost. I felt the way I always feel when my makeup is done.

He told me he was running late, which meant I had more time to… not put on makeup. It was hard. I looked in the mirror and really had to resist the urge to “just quickly fix this” or “just put some powder here” or “what’s wrong with a little lipstick?” and although there is nothing wrong with any of this, I really wanted to stick to this little challenge. I went out, and received more appreciative stares than normal! I could see the way people reacted to me as I walked with confidence, and I was in awe that this was happening without any makeup. I just decided to be as confident as I usually would be if I were dressed up.

The date was awesome! He obviously didn’t notice any difference, and well, we’re going on a PROPER dinner date tonight!

The point I’m trying to make is: we’re conditioned to believe that we need to wear makeup in order to look perfect, in order to be valuable.

But, what else can we do to feel valuable? I’m funny, sarcastic, energetic, smiley, intelligent and friendly to be around. I’m freaking awesome! Why do I need to look absolutely flawless in order to be liked by a guy? Although men do have some social pressure to look good, they are reassured of their value through other means. The media teaches us that the guy gets the girl because he’s funny, or kind, or really smart and talented, or brave, or rich…but the girl is just pretty. I shall definitely expand on this more in Part 2, but there is so much more value to us women than our beauty. It’s fun to dress up, it’s fun to put on lipstick (man, I looooooove my red lipstick!) but it’s not necessary for receiving love, otherwise the men would do it, too.

If women everywhere were to go out with the same confidence, whether wearing makeup or not, knowing that their value lies in who they are rather than how perfect their faces are, how would society be different?

People are constantly reflecting what we believe about ourselves- if we believed we were amazing and could get a hot guy by being funny and kind and confident regardless of our looks, how different would our lives be?

Stay tuned for Part 2!


Much love,

A

 

**picture taken from https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/jan/14/makeup-for-black-women-high-street
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