Hello 🌸

Just a follow-up from yesterday’s post, if you haven’t read it, it’s here.

It was now my second date with this guy, and I found it really difficult to go makeup-free. This was a nice restaurant in a higher-end area, which made me feel pressured to wear makeup. I resisted the urge, got super dressed up and decided that was way more than enough.

When he confirmed that we were still on, he sent a message that read: “best bring your A-game, girl.” Now, this was really normal for our interactions- sarcastic, playful, fake-insulting. But my panicked mind that was already struggling with the insecurity of looking desirable without makeup wondered: “is he telling me to make sure I look good?”

Good news: he wasn’t.

But it took me forever to calm myself down and decide that it meant nothing of the sort. I stuck to my decision, wrapped my afro in a new scarf, got DRESSED TO THE NINES, and pumped myself with extra confidence. He picked me up, it was great, the date was AWESOME, and when I mentioned something in passing about my not wearing makeup, he didn’t react in any way. Honestly, guys hardly notice these things.

But as if the Universe was poking fun at me, we were seated on the edge of one section, AGAINST THE MIRROR. No joke. So, I received unsolicited reminders throughout the evening like “hey girl, no make up?” It was a great challenge, dancing with those demons, telling them that they were wasting their time because I was having an awesome date with this guy that makeup would not have enhanced. My self-esteem was the same, any shyness was a result of the vulnerable moment in the conversation, and we want to see each other again.

So, what have I learnt? Makeup really and truly is optional. And if the end goal of applying makeup is to look and feel good- why not do that in the mind? The power’s all in there.

Anywho, Part 2 of Social Conditioning is coming soon, so stay tuned for more mind-power things! Yay!

Much love,